I know, I know,  you f-tarded bastards, yes I know I can be so mean, or seem like I’m being mean, or like I’m being racist, or…fill in yer negative stereotype.

Look all you cats n kitten I’m the Dysfunctional Unit fer a reason, that doesn’t excuse what I do, but it may explain why you may misunderstand what I am trying to say….

No, really, I think you (many of you) jes do that on purpose…

Here, as an example, is a poem I once wrote n performed occasionally in the coffee houses in the So Cal area…

I wrote this poem about a neighbor that’s why it’s called…


Why My Neighbor Kept a Dog

He kept a dog

‘Cause he wanted a woman

But the dog didn’t complain when he beat it

He didn’t have to give it money to go to the mall or to get it’s hair done

He didn’t have to listen to it complain about his lifestyle choices

And when he left the house

The dog followed three steps behind

Like he believed a good bitch should

And that’s why he kept a dog

I've heard it's best to start their traning early.

I’ve heard it’s best to start their training early.


Okay so whenever I read that poem I was invariably accosted by audience members fer being a sexist….fer suggesting women should be beaten…wha…wha…what ?!?

It was about my nieghbor!

It was one of my first experiences with pc’run a’mokness

So like, when I wrote the post re:Putin n Obama I of course never realized that readers would think I was racist.

I did portray Putin as a arrogant dangerous racist, Obama as an arrogant child/man (and somewhat racist)…(as to the pictures n size of text hopefully that’s fixed-ish)…

But again, me bein a racist, meaning I personally am judging people solely by their skin color.

Sorry not my thing.

I look at what people do and how they behave, what they say and write, and the differences between the two.

Obama in a sea of white 4

Good Racism in action.

Ex: Like white American suburban liberals who were happy to vote for Obama to show that America had moved beyond all that, to prove we were no longer a racist nation, or certainly they themselves were no longer racists.

I have news fer ya, hate to break it to ya…but if you voted fer President  Obama because he was black yer a racist.

You acted based solely on the color of his skin.

Racism. Yea you say, “but it was good racism.

Oh wait, I know, I know ya support his policies n pogroms…whoops Freudian…programs.

Name one…

Health Care, Lowell,  hows that been workin’ out fer ya?

How ’bout the economy?

How ’bout how much it suddenly costs to buy groceries, fill the tank…oh and so on.

I know, I know many of you didn’t really read up on Mr. Obama prior to votin fer him, ya jes listened to the TV news…well really the news is pretty boring, but ya did n do watch John Stewart and Jimmy Fallon.

Late Nite Laughs!

Late Nite Laughs!

Anyway if ya did any homework at all there was plenty to suggest to find. Mr. Obama was not shy about his views regarding America’s wealth n privilage (meaning white America) and told us all ahead of time he believed some of these things needed to happen.

That is because then student and then Senator Obama fully believed two important principles (along with many others, even on the so called conservative side).

1 That white Euro-American success and power came at the expense of the third world nations and peoples, and the field should be leveled utilizing western resources to fuel a resurgence in wealth and transferring of resources  back to the “victim” nations.

2 Big Government can & should be the tool used to level the playing field between rich and poor (peoples and nations both).

Well okay that’s a whole ‘nother can of beans as they say.


No matter what you think, I don’t like our President because I don’t agree with what he professes to believe in.

Don’t like his tendency to support the idea that the Government is a balm to soothe all societies ills…

I don’t think he really believes that it can.

He does wants us to believe it can.

I used to believe those things, used to be a super lefty, think  I made that clear enough…

I jes don’t anymore based on all available evidence and data.

Government  isn’t there to be the Big Mommy n Daddy of us all, nor is it here to be the arbiter of healthy living, nor make people like each other…

Thanks Mommy!

Thanks Mommy!

Not only is in not supposed to be doing these things, it can’t.

No matter how much it promises, no matter how much it takes from one group to give to another, no matter how much it obfuscates and finger points (both damn sides) the (fed) Gov cannot right the wrongs of the past.

It cannot guarantee safety n happiness fer all.

Cannot guarantee fairness…and should be ashamed fer leading people to think it can.

One the few things that the Federal Government is suppose to do…A#1, top o my list anyway, is to protect our country from people, organizations, or other countries that mean to do harm to the ol’ US of A.

Harm not jes to our people, our land or things, but our interests as well, the economic interests of the citizens, of our pretty “good” country…

This is why I switched parties in the 2000. Other logic added into it but this was the key factor.

One of the politial parties was fer American interest, and one was fer the worlds.

Jes some other breaking news fer ya, people in other parts of the world covet what Americans have.

They believe as our President does(see above…)and as so many liberal University/College Professors have been teaching fer years now (that’s why so many good hard working kind n thoughtfully green citizens of America also believe this and support the idea*)that our Country’s dominance is due solely to nefarious criminal activities on America’s part and not due to the hard work and sacrifice of generations of it’s people.


Tenured Professor Bilde,        U of AH

So, many people in other countries, as well as a lot of people in this one, feel that the taking of what America has & what Americans have achieved would be more akin to a comeuppance than theft…

And jes a question fer those supporters of this philosophy, what did you think this balancing was going to feel like?*

The dollar losing it’s buying power…how is that goin fer ya?

And as to the various parts of the third world gaining world “player”status ain’t never gonna happen …in yer dreams.

I mean really. did that sound like it was gonna work.

The 3rd world is gonna stay overwhelmingly poor.

Some other powerful country will fill the vacuum when we abandon the post…n I doubt it will be Russia, seriously, though Putin’s makin his move early fer his sizable chunk of the “2nd” world.

If I was layin’ money I’d say China has better odds.

And with America n Americans out of the picture who’s gonna give a flyin f about the 3rd world then…

Of course I’m way off topic…’cause the point is all this…this cultural shifting and it’s full o’ the ol’ crap-ola cheerleaders are laughable at best and the fact that I find myself being the voice of patriotic reason hilarious.

So my posts are always funny to me and wait…what?

Yea full of crap you heard me!

What happens when the fad dies n black goes back to bein the new black?

What happens when the fad dies n black goes back to bein the new black?

I…look if you go around callin’ yerself Green ’cause ya think about the environment a lot and vote democrat, and maybe ya’  changed all the lite bulbs (ha! go look up the new lite bulb fer yerself) in yer four bedroom house…

What’s the real gas mileage on yer new eco-friendly SUV (or compact fer that matter)?

Okay you support alternative energies, how much do you utilize during yer average day to help accomplish yer average day?

Recycling: The Green Movement's Indulgences

Recycling: The Green Movement’s Indulgences.

Oh n of course recyclin, recyclin and buyin, buyin n recyclin…Lowell, we certainly ain’t slowin down in our consumer tendencies…

E-garbage, the new future's dirty little secret.

E-garbage, the tech livin future’s dirty little secret.

How many new, unrecyclable, untrashable, electronic gadgets have you n yer family bought in the past year?

How many have you thrown away?

How much is in yer garage? Can ya still fit the new Wrangler in there?

How many closets do you have that could rival Fibber McGee’s?

Do I have to ask more rhetorical questions?

sun chips

Proof of American consumer’s rhetorical commitments n fickle fads finicky foibles.

Not too long ago one of my favorite brand of chips came out with a new bio-degradable bag…the new bag was quickly scrapped and they were forced to return to the old fashioned ungreen bags.

What was the problem, the big consumer complaint you may wonder?

The bags were noisier. That was it…it bothered consumers that the bags made more noise, and these are the “healthy/green crowd” chips.

Oh…oh…I’m sorry! Oh…hold on!..Oh it is to laugh.

I tell ya what if yer living on a self sustaining farm in a remote part of the country you can talk to me about being green.

Otherwise yer full o the ol’ crap-ola.

Crowning themselves Champion

Winner & Still Champeen!

If you go around sayin it’s a proven fact that women can take more pain than men yer full o the ol crap-ola…

I’m not sayin they can’t, or that they can…

I’m sayin it hasn’t been scientifically proven despite all the news reports that feature studies that say they have “possibly maybe” done just that.

Science is evolving.

Science is evolving.

Even, dare I say it…evolution is only a theory…that’s why it’s called the theory of evolution.

I’m not sayin we didn’t evolve. Hear (or read anyway) what I’m sayin…(though I do believe of course in a mix of both science n God)…

I’m jes sayin ya can’t go around sayin evolution’s a proven fact & there is no God and that people who believe, have faith in a God are stupid, then also talk about human beings innate goodness and talking about karma…wellll…I guess you can but…

I’m sayin if yer claimin to be somethin be it.

If ya say yer tolerant of all view points, ya’ can’t be a pussy when ya hear one ya’ don’t like, other wise yer full of…okay you get it…

Now look how long it’s taken jes to get through that b.s.

But see again I find it hilarious to openly challenge so many and have none willing to respond…that’s funny isn’t it?

I know there are a lot of liberals on WP.

Are you a white middle upper middle income American with a family, house, kids, possibly in college, who having voted fer Obama, views themselves as a good n green modern American liberal with health care n justice fer all (the oppressed)?

I chuckle in the face of yer hypocrisy and l & the fab o l brothers at yer lack of ba…

…sic support of yer own arguments…

And again that’s funny, at least to this Unit.


Ya know I was thinking what could I possibly give all my WP friends and followers for Christmas. the ol dysu

I mean even if I had decided months ago to whip out some kind of cool craft (which suddenly I think will become my goal for next year) how could I get those gifts to any and all who wanted them….(Hmm I’m sure by next year I can think of a way).

Anyway in lieu of a physical gift or a card I came up with another, I think, brilliant gift for most of you.

My top three complaints against my fellow Conservatives/Republicans

Okay so here goes…in no particular order

1. Mexico-United States Barrier (also known as the Border Wall)Borderbeachtj

The Border fence…I mean I don’t even know how to address this one. This is America, the land of the Free. I lost respect for so many (even nationally known) conservatives over this issue.

We cannot fence in the land of the free. If yer for this idea, you are standing for the opposite of liberty.

The ends never justify the means.

2. The War on Drugs

captain america drugsThe liberals have their poor and the war on poverty, the conservatives have their own version of this idiocy in the war on drugs. Government needs o get out of the social engineering business all together and that includes this mockery of a travesty of a sham we call the WoD.

The abolishment of these two institutionalized financial black holes might just be enough to save this damn country.

Plus from a logic standpoint I don’t know how you can argue that; a gun, being an object, is not deadly, just the person using it then fail to apply that same argument to drugs.

Drugs are not evil. Though some people using them commit evil. Just like guns.mexican_war_on_drugs

3. The Restrictive Right

Guess what, the Government is not here to make us do right. People have to want to do right.

The Libs want the Government to be a Lenient Wicca Mommy, the Repubs want it to be a strict Christian Daddy.

Listen I already made this argument in the last post so I won’t readdress it here I jes wanna say enough..

I mean what is it you don’t understand about Liberty.240px-Truth_Truck_OSU

Yes the country was founded on Christian ethics, morals, but they purposefully made the Government separate. The Federal Government was limited to governing its business.

The Individual, the Family unit, the Church was responsible for governing the morals of the populace.

Okay so that, I know is over simplifying, but it’s funnier, or at least less boring.

And so okay cats…wait a minute

…Now I feel like Monty Python ’cause there’s four.

Four things I can’t stand about the Republican party.

  4. Neo-Con’s

2255883106_john_mccain_xlargeBig Conservative Government is no more desirable than Big Liberal Government (okay well maybe a little more desirable).

Listen I mean doesn’t it seem funny to any one else that we are just trading off eight year administrations. One steers us a little left, one steers us a little right, but none seem to be correcting enough to keep us from going over the cliff that’s just ahead.

Neo Con’s have their own pet programs that are helping to drive this country to financial ruin.

Neo cons love globalization just as much as the extreme left does.

And I know my dysfunction can border on paranoid but, the term New World Order does not necessarily lend itself to gentle thoughts of peaceful transition.

Okay well before I comfy chair myself again, let’s call it good and I will leave any other issues for another day.

Hopefully you enjoyed this little present as much as I (as always) enjoyed writing it.

God bless ya’ll and a Merry Christmas from the Ol’ Dysu!

Well goodness gracious Cats & Kittens, I mean I’ve posted some poorly edited posts but yesterday’s takes the kace, akec, cake!

I mean I wish I had an excuse.  I jes don’t. I didn’t see (some freakin how) all the mistakes. I’d like to say it was an early draft and that this is a later auto save but that’d be an untruth.

And yea I realize it’s sometimes hard to tell with me ’cause I make up words and write in such a rambling manner but…

I mean it’s bad when I read it and even I can’t decipher what my point was.

Oh it is to laugh.

Okay so anyway here ya go, that is if yer still interested. A cleaner, clearer, version of 1, 2, 3, 4 I Declare a Dumb War

Next up Obamachol!

Next up Obamachol!

Well, okay Cats n’ Kittens here we are fer another continuing round of our longest running, by far most expensive situation Comedy ( I would call the ol dysuit a reality show but far too much is scripted, even by today’s reality show standards) Our Washington Boobs, brought to you by you, the American Taxpayer.

Oh hey hi there it’s jes me the…no wait The One and Only, Original Dysfunctional Unit. I jes wanted to clarify that real quick cause of all the dysfunction comin out of Washington right now.

So jes full and legal notice to all you media types in case your thinking of calling any one, or part of the whole Washington establishment a “Dysfunctional Unit” you will be hearing from our legal dept.

Washington DysfunctionBut of course now back to the business of talking about this business, or more specifically this non-business going on among our representatives in Washington.

Before we get in the meat of this though, let me clear up any misconceptions. I am first and foremost a States Rights Libertarian, not a Republican, I align myself with Republicans for obvious reason, but am not fond of the “Big Gov” agenda much of the Party espouses (neo-con’s like Newt “G-man” Gingrich).

I originally was attracted to the Tea Party but some of their most beloved and endorsed platforms such as building a wall at the US/ Mexico Border or outlawing abortion seem in direct contrast to the idea of liberty…what? Hold on wait.

No, no, I’m not in favor of the Government giving you carte blanche authority to kill your babies or crazy porous borders either….the statements above are not an ipso facto acknowledgement of your (unsupportable) arguments either.

The abortion issue I’ve written about a nauseum, but I have barely touched on the idiocy of building a fear based wall around the land of Women not to be trifled withthe free and the home of the brave…I mean should I have to?

See the bitch about living in a free system that  relies solely on the intelligence and responsibility of it;s citizens is it’s a dangerous and harsh system for people who choose, or are in some other way incapable of participating at a standard level. Before our social safety net probably a lot of Americans simply died off because they couldn’t compete.

A Evolutionary Impossiblity

A Evolutionary Impossiblity

That system is not the system we live in though. We still live in a “free system” that relies on it’s citizens values & judgement. But that system has slowly become corrupted.

Over the years this changing  interpretation of “free” has asked for (forced by law ) more and more of the efforts of the most responsible individuals above in efforts to prop up, support (and sometimes lionize as victims) the laziest, the worst, the most irresponsible members of the system (who to know better of course than one of their own*).

Until now, this society, this once great culture may be on the brink of dissolution and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

I, the original Dysu, have no one to blame but myself.

Yea, like a dope I read the book.

Yea, like a dope I read the book.

*The thing is I use to be a raging leftist. I wrote countless poems raging against “the man!” I belonged to Beyond War & Earth First. I believed that my party was the party of Truth, that’s right with a capital T, and liberty.

Truth the truth is the difference Ma'am.

Truth the truth is the difference Ma’am.

Then I got introduced to the Clinton’s. I mean don’t get me wrong I still like Bill, that doesn’t mean I’d buy a used car from him.

Anyway the lies and the b.s made me finally pay attention, really pay attention and I realized that I’d been duped. That was the start of my transformation. 9/11 of course was the next big defining factor and I have voted republican ever since.

The fact that liberals, democrats, media types try to sell me the idea that fanatical Islam, the Muslim world (and now perhaps dare I say portions of our own federal government) are not actively trying to harm America, American allies and interest all over the globe, but are simply reacting to America’s aggressive nature is so ludicrous I am amazed that I even have to write about it.

But I guess when our own President echos this philosophy I shouldn’t be so surprised.

Maybe I guess I am out of touch.

But ya know how I feel about words, definitions, the power of words and the subtle influence word usage can have on perception (ex: Americans were part of the militant raid protesting western influence in traditionally orthodox Muslim countries.

One by one.

Americans: wrong a purposeful inaccuracy to instill a sympathetic attachment.

They were recent immigrants, transplanted in Minneapolis like many others with the help of free flowing taxpayer dollars (Minnesota is a left wing liberal mecca) and with the help and support of good hearted Americans through non-profit agencies such as Lutheran Social Services.

There is no way to truly no how much gratitude and loyalty they felt toward their newly adopted country, but based on available evidence it would be easy to conclude not much. In fact it is quite easy to believe that they never really ever intended to join and contribute in a positive way to the grand American Dream. That they came here with devious intent and under false pretenses, to pretend to want to be Americans…that’s much different than “being Americans.”

Militant: Okay yea well maybe they see themselves that way. Hitler saw himself as the savior of Germany, the Nazi Party as the liberator of the world. So yea okay I understand they believe themselves to be militants. Why are the PTB attempting to sway my opinion in such a way? The people fighting on the other side are my enemy. I don’t see them as militants. They don’t want to free me from anything, they want to cause me terror or worse. Militant..oh it is to laugh.

Protesting western influence in traditionally orthodox Muslim countries: Victims, they’re just poor victims everybody. Just more victims of the evil, white, racist. ultra-christian, aggressively militaristic, morally controlling American Imperialistic Empire (while somehow at the same time being Zionist, decadent, morally bankrupt corrupt money driven society with too much freedom).

Is it any wonder my little dog spins.

And then we get this Affordable care act and I jes wanna ask all you supporters, affordable for who? The poor already had free health care,

Affordable for the uninsured? *Most of them don’t want it and aren’t going to take it, we’ll talk about the remaining part of that group in a minute.

And don’t even try to sell me the idea that this is better for the middle class. The middle class (mostly white, many Christian, but all hard working good Americans, will once again bear the brunt of this do-good philosophy) as rates skyrocket and they’re left with fewer and few options. Land of the free my arse.

I did it Mommy!

I did it Mommy!

We love Obamacare for others!

We love Obamacare for others!

Okay well lets quickly look at the uninsured. The largest portion of those people are young and are uninsured by choice and all experts (of which I am not one) and I agree they will likely remain uninsured choosing instead to pay a small penalty.

Now this is hilarious because, and I have heard no one else mention this, this group is in large part responsible for helping to elect our Most Wise and Benevolent Ruler. I mean that’s a hilarious joke.

Paid for by hard working Americans everywhere.

Paid for by hard working Americans everywhere.

As to the other part of this group, the un’insurable, or the “on the fringers” I’m sorry…I mean can we hold 2 million some odd citizens hostage based on the needs of few hundred thousand (if that).

I of course say no. And it’s not like I’m not part of that group, I am, and I still say no.

But then I can be a real ass sometimes, even to myself.

Lastly I wanna address the Government shut down….

Next up Obamachol!

Next up Obamachol!

I don’t know what all the fuss is about…I mean really isn’t it long past time we shut it down.

I mean I may be The Dysfunctional Unit, but I and all my fellow Americans need the Fed Gov as much as we need to be leeched for a cold.

Wait a minute is that covered under the ACA?

Grashopper & the Ants

September 28, 2013

Click on Me

Click on Me

Big Mac Attack Pt 4

September 23, 2013

Pt 4

It’s my kids I feel sorry for. I’ve tried to teach them from my example. America was, is and can be a great country only

God, Guts n' Glory

God, Guts n’ Glory

if and when we remember that being great isn’t easy, it takes hard work and sacrifice, when her citizens all, each and everyone strive, sacrifice, sweat for personal greatness, America became great.

Once we were great, we kids who were born into “greatness”, and all the succeeding generations of even greater children, have done, accomplished less and less but been assured in newer and more intensely narcissistic ways that they are indeed getting greater.

Absolutely Opposite of true. It is what you do that says who you are.

Absolutely Opposite of true. It is what you do that says who you are.

Until now every child is special no matter if they don’t contribute a thing to the world.

Yer jes special because yer you,,,

What does this all have to do with the attack in Kenya you’re probably asking by now?

Well how about if I  suggest that our liberal left is culpable by not only supporting the enemies of America by lending validity to their false argument theory of victimhood, and through that support give a sense of righteous justification to their cause and entitle them to act in any way they see fit to right these wrongs.

But that through the eventual entitling of the lowest in members American culture to believe that they are equal to the doer’s, the producers and that they deserve the equal mount of resources is only going to expand.

If we add to that a collapsing economy, a loss of the dollar as the worlds currency, a growing sense of blood in the water by our enemies, an impotent legislative branch, and a President presiding over it all promising to do more, saying we still haven’t done enough.

And it doesn’t make sense until you realize he’s talking about pushing America, that ol ‘Amurica, he hates so much all the way over the cliff.

He’s not lying when he says he loves America. He just means his America, Obmerica. Where we all get Obamacare, and use Obamaphones. Drive my Obamacar to the Obamabmart….

Of course the right to free cell phones was in the constitution!

Of course the right to free cell phones was in the constitution!

Big Mac Attack Pt 3

September 23, 2013


Americans, I’m pretty sure even the greedy corporate (white) rich guys who are building the offensive “Long Johns Silvers” in the former downtown open goat market, have no more evil intentions than making money. If the locals don’t want to take advantage of 2 fish & chips with a large soda for $10 no one will make them.

American Propaganda

American Propaganda

As a counter though, the men making these theoretical arguments in Kenya (and Iran, Egypt, Afghanistan, Somalia etc on and on) do believe in convert or die philosophy. If they were to enter American culture in force there would be beheadings in every downtown across the nation. It would be televised and justified.

Next time you will take the fries.

Next time you will take the fries.

So from a theoretical standpoint their argument as to a threat to their culture, is only in reference to them maintaining a type of control over their rank and file population. The truth is they do not want Mrs Sahib to have a chance to buy a Swiffer, her having more free time can only lead to trouble.Whiff the Swiff

But what about all the screaming rabble whipped into a frenzy demanding the Big Mac go home.

Well once again we can see that the argument is that the introduction of McDonald’s not only ruins the culture, but is a example of the rich west coming in and stealing from the local peoples. And the lowest level denominator comes out to take back what they so rightfully deserve.

8 out of the 10 who show up to protest would most likely not be so antsy to kick McDonald’s out, if they could afford to eat there themselves. But its all those rich western types who get to eat there. It’s no fair, so yea…Yea! What that guy said about the culture! Revolution! Revolution & Free Plasma TV’s!

The theoretical  argument of America’s desire to do evil by Big Mac, while it is a false argument, put forth by people who are afraid of America’s freedom catching on in their population, is understandable given their position.

The support our liberal left, the media industry included, gives to their bogus arguments is not.

The Smug & Smarmy

“I am against rich white guys having power, especially Jewish ones.” says the rich white powerful Jew

How can a rich white corporate type like say Bill Maher, truly support a culture that would fire him at best if they were to somehow seize control over the US.

And what about every liberal woman in any power position, be it news anchor, movie star or politicess, at best you’ll be wearing a burqa. And yet, again and again the language choices you use, the speeches you deliver or movies you make suggest that America (old racist bad Amurica) is the evil actor here and that, like our own American poor (OWS anybody) these Muslims are peaceful innocent victims who only occasionally and with the greatest regret strike out in near useless frustration against the evil western capitalist machine.

Okay well a burka in some cases might not be so bad.

Okay well a burqa in some cases might not be so bad.

Oh it is to laugh, have I said that enough through these posts.


Like Shakespeare but with more profanity

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