Tortise & Hare

May 15, 2014

Tortise  n the Hare 1


Tortoise and the Hare: Volume III of the Fables for a New Century Collection

Will need Adobe to view…hope ya enjoy…oh n the picture above is not from the book…jes to be clear.

Anyway hope you get a chance to view this fun little book.

Well I’m a little late into the blog-o-sphere, I’m sure, with my comments on this whole debacle in the Ukraine, cats n kittens..

Well n actually that hasn’t been a debacle at all, jes the opposite in fact but again…

But as to my thoughts to a title…well I didn’t really wanna be the 250th blogger with “Putin his Boot in His Mouth” as his blog title, so I jes put in a couple of my favorites.

I’m sure been a pretty hot topic n all

So the thing is, well I ended by blendin three ideas my little dog had been chasin and I came up with…well…I don’t know what to call ’em….

And anyway like usual, I’m jes gonna go fer it and we’ll see how it all works out in the end…

Click on the pic if yer interested in checking out my Putin N Obama page and well yea, there ya’ go…



Okay n so hopefully cats and kittens the ol Unit won’t have to do any moving for awhile.

That’s right yes I moved again.

Fer those of you who have followed my various blogs over the past few years’ll know that I have moved now 3 times in the what…2 years?

That is in part the reason fer my as of late, semi absence from a lot of WP activity, yes I know…yes… some didn’t miss me and a few are sad to see me back…L and his fabulous o l brothers.

Anyway moves #1 & 2 of course were from 409 N in Soo Foo to Trippland (1) and then on to Palace City (2) some six months later.

Who put the Falls in the bop-shoo-bop Sioux Falls!

Who put the Falls in the bop-shoo-bop Shoo Falls!


Don’t let the sign fool ya…there was, at the time, 639 People living in and round Tripp.

The one n only Palace of Corn!

The one n only Palace of Corn!

Movin to Palace City and into the Capital St. house, was I had hoped, a last move fer me…fer ever.

Ah well the proverbial best laid plans as they say…

So while still unpacking I thought I’d share some recent thoughts…

I had enough of these clowns!

I had enough of these clowns!

Moving from a quite large house to smaller place I had sold, what could almost be considered, the last of the best of my collection o “junk”.

One of the kept things.  Jes on the off chance another future Ex-Mrs. Unit comes in the along.

One of the kept things. Jes on the off chance another future Ex-Mrs. Unit comes in the along.

I invited the local antique store into the house n told em to pick whatever (save a couple key items) n gimme one price fer it all.

They took pretty much everything God bless ’em…

The Ol Bikes in the ol days.

The Ol Bikes in the ol days.

Now I thought it would take some time fer them to clean n catalog such a haul but no, they had most of it out the next day, including my old 1967
“his n her” Montgomery Ward Hawthornes prominently displayed in front of their store on Main St.

The thing is Lil’ Mouse did not take my selling these items very well. Keep in mind that certainly the vast majority (including the bikes) I had owned prior to the advent of our couplehood (and the rest of course had been mine to sell as well). The Mouse wasn’t mad, jes upset that I would sell it all.

I still can’t figure women out.

Ages ago now

Ages ago now

As part of this, this minimalization I went through my boxes o writings n stuff etc. Some of this I hadn’t probably looked at fer over 15 years.

May post some of the poetry that’s never seen the glow o the computer screen yet.

Illustrations fer an early book self made on a Mac 512k. summer of '91

Illustrations fer an early book self made on a Mac 512k. summer of ’91

Once I get all settled in.

Fer those who haven’t read some of my earlier stuff I used to be a performance poet.

Read up and down the So Cal coast all through the late 80’s to the mid 90’s.

Rockin' good time!

Rockin’ good time!

409 N.

409 N.

Some of the poems will be from that period, some from when I first moved to the frozen north.

A few from when I first met x2.

And even a couple from the Lil’ Mouse, 409 N days that somehow I never got posted.



Lastly since I didn’t have a lot of time lately I had been choosing to re-post some of my earlier stuff, n try to stay up on my reading instead of writing anything new which of course takes me (with my 1,000 word posts) an inordinate amount of time.

But I really enjoy getting to read such a wide variety of writers.

All the blogs I read bring something fun and unique and or even quirky to the blog-o-sphere.

Sometimes its new opinions, sometimes it’s  simple uncomplicated humor, some are of the more cerebral nerd humor or from the young more digitally tech savvy crowd, the YouTube generation if you will…

I read some works by extraordinary poets and writers of short fiction.

Art, artists, photos…

Sometimes it’s simply getting a glimpse of places I’ll never get to go and interesting people I’ll never get to meet.

Some of those individuals are now or may regret that they once followed my blogs (the only way I find blogs to follow due to dysfunction not snobbery sorry all!) oh it is to laugh.

tcf as art 4

E Me

But if I comment or stop by yer page n you’d rather I didn’t (as some have let me know in the past as you will have to if this is the position you find yerself in.) please be aware that I am coming to be aware that I may be as inept and unaware in my social interactions on-line as I am in real life….oh it is to…and you know the rest.

I of course think that’s funny.

You might not. and again that’s okay.

Please be aware that ya don’t have to like my stuff back…it’s okay n I understand I know I am an opinionated ol’ unit, a dysfunctional cantankerous s.o.b.

You are certainly free to think I’m full o’ the ol crap-ola (I only wish you’d say so in the comments section) r believe that I’m stupid, you’d be wrong, crazy yes but stupid never …r fer instance you may not even think I’m funny…I don’t let it bother me…you shouldn’t feel bad about it either.

What'dya mean am I compensating?

What’dya mean am I compensating?

My ego is unwarrantedly  huge.

I also think that’s hilarious

I don’t write to make anyone else happy but me.

I of course like it when others do, but would never change jes to be popular.

We are all, what we are…it’s the differences that make us interesting and exciting.


January 27, 2014

One of the things I love about every blog I visit and enjoy regularly is reading the often hilarious comments that follow.the ol' dysu

Even before this grand venture started, pouringmyartout, a quirky, fun and intelligent blog I recently started following was no exception.

Then he came up with this idea, a bold, exciting, user interactive, reader participatory idea.

I call it bold because I would balk at the responsibility, rebel against the pressure of holding e-dialouges with so many crazed bloggers.Annnyway go there yerself and see, enjoy, n’ maybe even join in the fun.


Grashopper & the Ants

September 28, 2013

Click on Me

Click on Me

Okay, alright so its been a couple of days since I had enough time to devote a few hours to a-writin’ more of these poeographical posts…and I know I have been bitchin here or there but I am glad to get a chance not only to share this with others….but in some ways share it with myself. ‘Cause ya see, I mean I don’t know how other peoples brains work, hell I can barely figure out my own damn brain, but writing these posts I have discovered that I not only have a habit of ‘forgetting ‘ my distant tumultuos childhood, but that even (many of my) more recent memory files are stored in dusty. rusty file cabinets in rarely visited. poorly lit. tiny rooms. buried deep in the basement of my psyche. So it is good fer me to once in awhile to grab a flashlight and head down there and poke around, I mean I usually am not going to do it on my own, lol, I have to be prompted, I mean need a reason (shit it’s scary down there) but am always happy(ier?) after making the grimy trek (even if I bitch a little on my way down and up the stairs lol) so thanks BB, for the original question, and thanks to all the others who have enjoyed this…madness and followed along on this journey…

A quick clarification though, or affirmation, or (well I could spend minutes doin that) what I mean though is that this ability to be so ocd regarding taking apart and evaluating and analyzing my own behaviors, (the same way I do with everyone oh my Cats & Kittens) to be brutally honest (with myself anyway)in my evaluations of the “hows” , “whys” and “therefores” of  the things I do is just something that comes as naturally to me as does say public speaking (at least as early as I can remember) and fer years of course I thought everyone was this way (just as people who are responsible and pay bills on time can’t imagine how others just can’t do the same) we all have strengths, this just happens to be one of mine, and yes, it would have made me a great Psychologist (or etc [and yes I came close(though I may have mentioned that before)]…oh it is to laugh), well maybe next I will write a two part (that ends up being six part)post about my edugraphical history…but

And well Jesus no wonder my f-ing posts take so long see I haven’t even started talking poetry yet…so yea then lets get started. It’s…

In the early 90’s I am now a Dad again (my first son is what…mmm…thirty two and an artist living on the East Coast [and I was never much of a dad fer him] but lets not get sidetracked with my failings as a parent)…

Bill Shit Poet

Fer now though, I am house-husbanding two growing toddlers, living with (though not  yet officially unofficially[due to SSI/SDI restrictions] married) their mom, and doin my best to figure out a way to provide by doin the only thing I really felt I was good at…writing down the crazy stuff in my head and then goin out and reading that stuff in front of people.

Again two things, first I’m not saying my poetry was the best being performed, or that two, I knew that I would be as popular as I was…it just turned out people liked it and I was popular(years later of course in Toastmasters, I learned that there’s just something about me[I know that this sounds egotistical…I don’t care…it’s a fact] people just like to listen to me talk [my dad was the same way])

Pretentious Poet

So see, though a lot of poets regularly mocked not only my words but my performance…regular people loved me (amazingly enough regular people have money to buy cheap poetry books[where as poets are usually too poor]). So I was not only more popular with coffee house, book store and bar patrons than some of the more serious(pretentious?), deep(full of shit?), “arteests” (full of shit pretentiousness?[sorry lol only havin fun]), but when our books were on the table my $5 buck or less book prices(I made my first books on my mac 512k, sold ’em fer a buc a piece and made hundreds of dollars lol)always far outsold their fancy $20, $25 or higher books

Bull Shit Pretentious Poet


Okay and so f-ing anyway (on track, on track). Early 90’s reading everywhere, been published in a number of raggedy anthologies and ‘zines, self published two chapbooks, two more get published by raggedy presses. I am featured a lot, and very popular with the audience. During this times a lot of just people (as distinguished from other poets or weirdo artists types) attended readings(maybe this is still the case outside of where I live…lol). Anyway the scene is set for…the rest of the story


The first poet that I really hooked up with and started doing collaborative work was Gary Tomlinson (God rest his soul) “Big Daddy”. We started going to readings together but much more…Gary played the dulcimer, but he had taught himself to play it, so his style was a little unusual(very asian or middle eastern sounding [in my memory]). We wrote some rockin good pieces together, performed many of my pieces to music (including a crazy semi con [we claimed we were a band  and then day of the event said our drummer couldn’t show] to get $150 a piece for a half hour ‘lunch’ show at UCI)…so much more craziness, oh I love the guy.

Psycho Boy & Big Daddy (sorry twenty year old pencil drawing)


One of the other more popular poets at all the readings we attended was Tom Rush (also a student of Mallorinski, so we knew each other outside of coffee houses and restaurant bars). Tom wrote long depressing poetry, and (hopefully hes still alive and doing well)kind’a always looked down his nose at my…so called poetry…l and his fabulous o l’s my friends, of course structurally, strictly from a craft stand point he certainly comes from a position of strength, his poems being veritable masterpieces of poetic craftsmanship…and I’m sure it drove him crazy after pouring out his soul for five minutes about the desolate condition of man and the downfall of human nature in this post “flower power” world in the most darkly beautiful manner to light but well received applause, only to be followed by me getting up and stomping around ranting nearly unpoetically about my not taking acid anymore and nearly bring the house down in applause. I couldn’t help it. But Tom you were of course right, you are  much better poet than I. So where ever ya’ are God bless ya.

The Monkees Brain

Last but not least of course was G. Murray Thomas, if ya want to know a clearer, different version of many of these events, he in many ways would be the guy to roll with. G. Murray was much more intimately involved in all aspects of the spoken word and poetry world (not only in So Cal but world wide) than I could ever hope to be. Though our humor was closely related, and in some ways our approach to writing performance poetry was similar, G. Murray was the Michael Nesmith of our group, while I was more like (and still am in many ways) like Charlie on “Always Sunny”…the wild card. Fer Instance, see we all ended up one night reading together at Jams (and the thing about Jams is there was a lot of pre and post partying going on in the back alleyway) and we all started bullshitting and we decided to read together again (of course I’m sure that I was the driving force behind this idea[I wanted to do many multi-discipline projects] and am about 90% certain I was the one to come up with the 4 Tom’s [’cause that’s how my brain works) just as I came up with the idea  of “Big Daddy & Psycho Boy’s readings”…but of course I’m getting distracted…and in the long run I honestly don’t the f remember.

G. Murray, founder of Next, long may you read Baby!

The point is the 4 Tom’s were born, out of the 4 Tom’s came “Next” magazine(we had regular brainstorming sessions[drinking and smoking and madness] I had wanted to start a zine, write an advice column, faux monthly astrology predictions etc.  and brought it up.  Weeks later G. Murray showed up with a mock up of  his own version, “Next” a much better idea than the one I had and I thank him fer letting me not only write under a couple different pseudonyms, but hone my editing chops and learn how to meet deadlines..[Jesus am I still in parenthesis])…

Any the fuck way, we were reading together here and there, as well as individually, but even if one of us was featured another one or two of us might show up to help rock the house. The greatest thing was , especially once “Next” took off, was going to readings and hear people whispering about you when you came in…”They’re both in the 4 Tom’s” or “Hey those guy’s write for Next” or of course my favorite was “Isn’t that Psycho Boy?” very heady stuff lol…

So the 4 Tom’s were rockin, “Next” Magazine was rolling, Orange Ocean Press, run by G Murray, offered to publish my next chapbook “Homeless to Househusband” (which was a big deal even though we were also friends [I was the only other Tom he published at the time]). I felt it was a culminative work, and was proud of it, and happy that it was so well received. It wasn’t long after that I turned it into a one man “Poetry Play” the first of it’s kind (if I’m mistaken fergive me)that I’d heard  of (though I know a couple other “big name poets” did it after me)….

Okay and alright, so then we get to slams, 1994 and my big crash and burn and escape to the frozen north…but, and oh it is to laugh Cat’s & Kittens, I’m well over a thousand words, so we’ll have to table that till Pt. 7…but I will get to it, as well as my poetry story in the So Dak (hosting Slams at Jazz fest, Mayor’s award, etc) Plus there’s the “What Ever it is I Do Here” aspect of the title and I do wanna get to that (how to her dismay and horror Lil Mouse spawned the parenthesis[…and elippsis can’t ferget those] that occasionally pop up in my posts) and how my edits always cut 200 words while adding 500 more…oh it is to f-ing laugh, I mean I know I am, I can only hope that you are too

So like I hope yer not all beginning to feel like Bastion, and I hope you know, of course, that I have other stuff  that I’m itching to get to, I have chapters of Left Turn to put up ( a couple quick ones [16 & 17] before things start really heating up in Chapter 18), I swear I will post one tonight……plus there’s all this politickin’ and acculturatin’ goin’ on, but though I am nearly incapable of being responsible, almost assuredly one of the biggest Manyana-ites yer ever to meet…, writing down the crazy ass bull shit of tornadic activity that takes place in my brain on a second by second basis is probably the one exception to this rule…oh and I do hate to leave things unfinished (again probably mostly referring to fun creative stuff more than anything else lol…)

But okay anyway and again Cat’s N Kittens it’s me

So I wanna finish the story in a few hundred words(meaning of course under 1000) not counting links to poetry. So lets see we’re in  the early 90’s right? My life is less topsy and his fabulous turvys, ( age, maturity etc, plus I’ve stopped doing coke, meth,[completely] and hallucinogenics[mostly] oh and there”s the disability money)I’m attending a lot of local open readings, and as my poetry improves I begin to pick up some featured spots…

First ya have to understand that I learned pretty quickly how bad and exactly why and where my early attempts at performance poetry and more importantly and specifically my poetry sucked weak ass(thanks to tough and brutally honest older poets[thanks again Lee & others unnamed])…but like I said, I was a quick study.

One of the best and most valuable pieces of advice was to change how I lay my poems out on the page and to drop the whole ee cummings lower case thing (seeing as it was “his thing not mine”…lol great advice old poet  whose name is now lost to time). His second point regarding my poems structure on the page was as eloquent and simple as was his guidance fer the “ee” dilemma…”ya do want people to be able to read it right?” he asked.

His point once I understood it was this, without an extremely valid reason as to why, making the poem more difficult for the reader to decipher draws attention from the words…

Sound, sound logic. I immediately changed both features of my written word.

The next advice, stop being so freaking overtly overbearingly preachy when you read….beats, hippies, they already ranted and quite possibly raved about it all,  so if yer gonna do it, try bringing something new to the table besides the same tired old all injustaphores and opressionisms, and fer God’s sake, if yer gonna talk about politics and the culture, be funny.

Okay I was ready fer all that. I had been, ever since my six year old Ogden Nash period, a fan of funny over frowns. Here’s a great example of the next stage in my poetry story…click on the homeless guy’s sign.

S0 we’re at about 1992, the Aguanga kid is born, I’m living with his mother, on SSI etc so I don’t have to worry ’bout work and can concentrate on art. I’m doin features and making, at least in my little corner, a name fer myself. As I mentioned in the last post I did well in “poetry contest”, and honed much of my poetry production to producing poems matching my somewhat  unhinged performing persona particularly (oh lol) suited to these contest (and as yet off my radar slams[though I am to ‘understand’ they are happening soon])and in the process my “voice” was born…While the above links are some of the “audience favorites[hits] the following poem really captures (I think, and is one of my favorites) what I am trying to do..just click on the persimmon fer the link…

This poem really, I feel exemplifies my voice, stripped of all the performance gimmicks, focused on a moment, the poetry of life, in this instance the conversation becomes the metaphor, at least I think, I hope, I feel that’s what I am going for…in hindsight, cause ya see my faithful readers, I didn’t set out to write this way, this is the way I write…when all is stripped away…when the pretense, and manufactured intentions, and tryin to be’s, and tryin to sound likes, and the pretentiousness of the Artie Mann, are all killed off through diligent applied effort, what is left is the real voice of the poet…in my specific case it lead to many people (all super cool poets) saying “It’s not really poetry though is it?” “Where’s the imagery? They’d ask…( I mean I always thought personally that “The old guy wearing California skin…” was halfway okay, I mean not Neruda or anything…)but imagery’s not my strength, and I decided long ago that being real, the poet I was, was far more important than either a: teaching myself to be someone elses idea of a poet, or pretending to be the same?

The misspelling of my name went unnoticed (at least by me)till the Aguanga Kid pointed it out yesterday

So that’s what I rolled with by late 92′ early ’93 I was pulling at east a couple featured readings a month, either sharing the bill or gong solo and carrying the night on my ever expanding body of work, always entertaining performance, all the oddity expected, delivered guaranteed ….this was just one of the reasons I got the nickname “Psycho Boy

Okay so rock ’em sock ’em robots Cat’s n Kittens I swore I’d get outta here at less than a thousand words (though I may have implied I’d finish er up also….well it is what it… lol)….comin soon Pt 6

I was asked to feature a number of times by the wonderful owners. They were also the first to agree to pay me as a featured…but we’re getting to that…hopefully…in part 6 fer sure


Like Shakespeare but with more profanity

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