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Killin Bigfoot in the Promise Zone

January 11, 2014

So two big news items came to my attention recently and I’ve just so busy that I’m only now gettin to write about them.the ol dysu

I had another post the next “adventures in Dysfunctional Datin’ near ready to go, but these stories kept my little dog whirling round n round and seeing as they’re so topical n hot I thought I jes slip ‘er in real quick and post ADD later today.

bigfoot_zps2fbda403So anyway the first big piece of news is that a guy in Texas claims to have shot a Bigfoot…sometime in 2012.

It’s like a dessicated mummified “ape” under glass now…But he assures us it was a real live Bigfoot when he shot it…in 2012…using a slab of BBQ ribs he nailed to the side of his barn/shed/outbuiding what have you I ferget that part now ’cause who cares? I mean he shot Bigfoot…in 2012…and I mean that could be, right?

It could be his seemingly fool errand of a plan worked.

And heck, I’m not the only one who was convinced by his authentic evidence, impassioned words and inspired to try bold new envisioning to bring this kind of reach fer the stars opportunity to all Americans.

President Obama is one such man. He has announced a New “New Deal”.

Promise Zones are a brilliant and daring plan to bring the elusive and mysterious creatures to areas of the country in dire need of courageous and daring initiatives to inspire…well initiative.

As far as I understand it the plan revolves around releasing Bigfoots in impoverished urban areas. Rumors on the internet are bigfoot 4swirling that a pilot program  has quietly been underway in select areas of Pittsburgh since…2012. However despite this photo I received in an unmarked manilla evnelope, the Ol’ Unit has been able to confirm this.

Since his announcement excitement has been building not only in suggested bigfoot 2communities getting ready to receive said Promise, but across the nation as well.

Though some critics in the Republican party have claimed this move is only to counter his sagging poll numbers, and there has been blowback from the extreme left of his own party, President Obama has continued to push for this program and has  promised executive action if any members of Congress attempt to override what he hopes becomes the savior of his legacy after the failure of the Affordable Care Act, formerly known as Obama-care…in 2012.

In fact none other than the Pres himself has promised to participate in one of the inaugural hunts somewhere across the nation.bigfoot 6

There have been some scoffers, some cynical diehard clinger-on’ers to the old way of not believing, in things like Bigfoot & Promise Zones.

bf 4But Thank God our President and other powerful forward thinking individuals are here to force them to believe in them anyway.

Happy Hunting cats & kittens, from yer little ol’ Dysfunctional Unit, me.

One Response to “Killin Bigfoot in the Promise Zone”


  1. […] That’s because ya probably didn’t read my last damn post…I mean oh it is to laugh, I pump out one of what I think is my best posts ever, certainly one of the shortest in recent memories and yea anyway you should read that one instead… […]


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