Queen Dean Comes Clean

January 19, 2012

Okay well amazingly enough everyone, breaking news, fatty foods are bad fer ya!! I’ve been watching CBS news the last couple days and they are hot on this story.

Well okay it’s really that they’re hot on devastating another “off the ranch” media mogul. What?…”off the ranch”? Well yea I mean they have been after Mrs. Dean for years because she cooks…(cue the evil music duh duh duhhhn!) fatty foods. When every one else was toeing the party line of less is more, Mrs. Dean called it as she saw it which might have been something like “Well that’s just horse pa-tooty sugar, of course only more is more

Let me first say that I am not a fan of hers, I have seen the show here or there surfing (back in the flush ol’ days when the Dysu had cable), and mainly I guess ’cause among my many dysfunctions I just happen to be lactose intolerant…kind’a makes her cooking show moot as far as I’m concerned.

I of course like that nerdy caveman cooking guy, even bought his book, but that’s fer another post.

So see this isn’t about my defense of Mrs. Dean.

Nor is it an attack on the news heads who, like piranhas are swarming now that blood is in the water.

This rant is toward the “backlash”.

Who are these people who are mad at her for “fooling” them into eating pecan pie?

Hey ya retard bastards news flash, fatty foods are unhealthy. If you have been eating Mrs. Dean’s recipes and are suddenly stunned with this news I indeed hope you have not managed to procreate yet.

So Mrs. Dean, I don’t know ya, don’t watch your show but still I (of course) have some advice. Stop being so contrite, stand up tall and cook up a butter filled pie of F-U for all the back stabbin whiners and then bar the door ’cause the health police are comin!!

At least that’s what the ol’ Dysu would do.

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