The Mouse Hole

December 12, 2011

Hi, everybody! Well, since Dysu hasn’t updated in over a week I figured I should pick up the slack.  Similar to how I pick up a lot of dirty socks and vertical cigarettes, precariously balancing on the table under the weight of 2 inches of ashes. (How does he do that? And WHY?)  I know he isn’t any less crabby so perhaps he’s just stewing a very large, meaty rant.  It also could have something to do with purchasing a new video game, but don’t worry—something will tick him off soon enough.

I know everybody is dying to know what Dysu is like in real life.   If you have read the rants you can just add in a couple of hours of video game playing, coffee drinking and chain smoking and you will get a general picture.  Of course, I’m contractually obligated to never reveal his true, tender and loving side.  Which doesn’t exist– because, obviously, men don’t allow their women to choose what to watch on Netflix, offer an opinion on an outfit or feign interest in more than twenty minutes of “feelings talk”.

Real Men ™ are fairly similar to Gary Cooper in High Noon.  There’s a stoney outer shell which protects a pinkish (granite) inside.   They are often quiet because they are contemplating how to do the rightist right thing and thus have no time for chit chat.  Because they are generally right, or at least right by the end of the film, they are rewarded with gun rights and the privilege of making decisions.  It’s very quaint.

There are still advantages to old fashioned men in this modern world and I recommend that every woman keep one around the house.  For instance, while I am hard pressed to release an ounce of control over anything I can still prey on his traditional need to do man work like take out the trash and car maintenance.  Beautiful modern feminism has a great way of fulfilling a need to be the boss while avoiding unpleasant bossy things like paying for dates or mowing the lawn. While those Real Men ™ may have been stoic, stern and sagacious they simply did not have the numbers in the HR department or the intense, marathon chit chat skills.   Dems the breaks, Gary.

This brings me to my ultimate point: I’d like to officially say that the opinions of Dysu are his alone and do not reflect the opinions of his parent company, Little Mouse the Boss.  Frankly, it’s easier to let him rage out his issues because it distracts him from realizing my supreme supremacy in decision making.  Thanks Herman Cain Controversy—Chunky Peanut Butter and You’ve Got Mail it is! While I am often confused or mortified by Dysu’s views I guess I’ll keep him around.  I really don’t like to take out the trash.

Little Mouse

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