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Now Don’t You Worry Your Pretty Little Head About That

November 1, 2011

As I watch the CBS early show this morning, I find myself tracking the amount of health issues, either through commercials or actual the ol dysu“news” stories that I am forced to watch in a one hour period.

Is any one else but me stunned that the first three hours of an average (woman’s) morning is spent in a country wide panic attack about smokin, breast cancer, COPD, ADD, ADHD, Dry eye syndrome, dry eye m-f-ing syndrome. Dear Lord will it never end.

I got this Babe!

I got this Babe!

Listen ladies, here’s what I have to say to you…don’t you worry your pretty little heads about that.

If ya don’t like that one how ’bout this one…Woman Shut Up!

The most valuable things that men gave up over the last half a century have been those two comments.

Women, ladies, chicks, doll faces, sweetie buns, here’s the deal. Life is dangerous and imperfect and you cannot pass enough legislation to change that. You cannot eliminate disease and accidents.

Its sweet of you to believe that you can, kinda like believing in fairies and unicorns, but when you try to force this fairy tale idea into real life action through endlessly chasing the idea of the perfect life, the perfect happiness, the perfect existence where nothing ever goes wrong the more you take us away from those goals.

You tell 'er Ronnie

You tell ‘er Ronnie

Enough!! Some one has got to say it!!

Now I know you’re intentions are good and you believe it excuses you as a group from any responsibilities for your actions and the damage they have caused but…Wait sorry…

What, what was that? You’re wondering what the hell I am talking about…You think I’m full of the ol crapola.

Well let me stop and give you one quick example.

When I was a boy growing up in the sixties and seventies all we heard from the burgeoning feminist movement and the experts in the burgeoning psych/social worker industry was that:

The reason little boys were so aggressive and often out of control was that they were raised by men.

The theory went if they could just be raised by women (the female value system of peace and equality) little boys would be more respectful and far less violent.

Over 2000 years of successful parenting and we think we know better.

Over 2000 years of successful parenting and we think we know better.

Ka-Booma-rific

Ka-Booma-rific

Lets fast forward to the late 90’s early oo’s. Young men, even boys are more violent, less in control than ever and have been for a decade or more.

What, are we told, is the reason for this dramatic increase?

Why are young men behaving so badly?

The experts and the feminists concur; The lack of male influence in the home.

Wha, wha, wha, what?? I’m sorry what?

The absolute audacity it takes. And ya know never a sorry.

Never a whoops sorry for the fifteen year social experiment conducted with no evidentiary support, just based on a fanciful notion, on what we believed to be best, on what we wished upon a star.

And now that the whole things tanked well…we’ll just blame it on men again.

Puffin  N' PonderinOh whoops sorry again, somehow on white traditional males.

Other races are excluded from blame because their lack of accountability to their offspring is simply another facet of the rich white conservative corporate male dominance leaving them incapable of assisting in the raising of their children.

Damn greedy white christian capitalist system.

Okay well now i am just getting off track and ranting.

Listen  they can’t both be truths, so which is it?

I know you won’t answer the question directly.

If you’re the reader (like I have readers) who thinks I’m full of b.s.,  you’re telling yourself that I’m just a sexist. My opinion doesn’t count.

Alright so okay, there was that time a couple posts back where I said don’t call me a racist, call me a culturalist because that is more accurate.

Sir Spanks AlotWell here you can go ahead and call me a sexist.

It still doesn’t change the facts.

I wasn’t born a sexist, women have turned me into one.

Your unceasing demands cannot be met and one day all men will wake up and say…

“Jumped up Jesus on a pogo stick woman shut the hell up!”

It isn’t enough that you’re driving our society right off the brink since we gave you the right to vote but…

What, oh man you need more examples, don’t worry I have plenty, but that will have to wait until next time cats and kittens.

This rants gone  too long already but I will come back to this same issue…don’t you worry your pretty lil head bout that!

3 Responses to “Now Don’t You Worry Your Pretty Little Head About That”


  1. […] I don’t have time to go back and re cover every crazy thing I have ever said…go back here and look it up…today I got bigger fish on my mind…today I’m kind’a pissed […]

  2. Dave Says:

    Haha, it took me a while to realize that this was satire 🙂 Once I realized that, I managed to recover from my initial shock and actually enjoyed the post.


  3. Reblogged this on disfuctionalunit and commented:

    Well today I got a message sayin’ it was my two year anniversary on WP but I didn’t have my next post ready so I thought I’d go back n share an old post jes fer fun. I think it might have three parts all together so I’ll try to post them all.
    I love Daniel’s comment, notice I didn’t dissuade him from the idea that this is satire…
    That’s right, jes harmless satire.
    No matter ya think I’m right on or a sexist caveman leave a comment ’cause it’s way more fun that way!


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